Let IT go, letting go, lose control! It's no secret that for the better part of my 37 years on earth I've been Type A, a control freak. When I was single, I didn't know how I couldn't be in control, afterall, I was the only one responsible for how things got done. Then when I met my husband, he began to show me that relaxing a little bit was okay. Things eventually got done, even if they didn't get done WHEN I wanted them to get done. It's been a gradual process, but recently when I began graduate school, I had no choice but to relinquish some of that control I held onto for so long. I often would feel out of control if things weren't planned, put on the TO DO List, or just inconvenienced me because I thought I should be doing something else. Well, I'm here to report that when I decided to lose control I gained some sanity! I know, I know... nobody can really tell you how to do this, it's a conclusion one has to arrive at on her own because that's all part of the journey. For the past few years, I've tried to enjoy this journey more than worrying about the destination, but for some reason I would slip back into my old habits and worry more about the destination at times. When I took the leap to begin graduate school, I told Kevin something would have to give, so I was going to just relinquish all control in my life. You can imagine how hard he cackled at me, but we've both been pleasantly surprised for the past 3 weeks how this has made me more relaxed, stress free, and overall happier.
Awhile back, I read the book The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.( I highly recommend it) In her book, she gives small tips for becoming happier. I'm pretty sure that some of her tips were to get more organized and find more control in your life, however I have had to do the opposite. I'm still one of the most organized individuals you'll probably ever meet, however I'm not as rigid. One example of "loosening up" is I have given up my meal planning. I can't remember the last time I didn't plan out the meals for the week and create my grocery list around the menu. Well, actually I haven't done so for the past month, but prior to that, I can't remember. Anyhow, by letting go of that I've gained some free time back while I've still managed to keep our grocery bill low and create good, healthy meals. I feel more creative because I just come home during the week and think of something yummy, but quick and easy to throw together. I still love to cook an elaborate, gourmet meal, but right now I just don't have the time for that every night of the week. I'm spending a few hours a night studying and trying to relax, so cooking has to be a different kind for now. This has also given my hubs more opportunities to learn how to throw something together!
Another aspect of relinquishing control that has made me happier and less stressed is that I trust in myself everything will get done. My school work is a pretty intense load of reading each week, however I know I will get it done, so I'm letting myself take breaks and have some fun. Yep, I said it, I'm allowing myself to have more fun! I'm sure this is making me a better wife and friend. (And a better mom one day too)
When Kevin and I first got married, we were very strict on budgeting. We had our reasons, for one, I had quit working full time and opened my tutoring business, so we had to be conscious of our cash flow. We also had to get in sync with each others' spending habits. Then we gradually went from a budget, to a spending plan, where we knew how much we had to spend in discretionary income each month and we kept track of it religiously. Now that we know our limits and know what we want to spend our money on, we have stopped being so rigid with that too. Recently, when our dog tore up some carpet and we had to fix it, we hadn't planned on getting wood floors in that room anytime soon, but when we did the math, it seemed like the more sustainable option so we did it! We haven't suffered any, so once again, just because it wasn't in "THE PLAN" right now, it worked out okay. Please don't think less of me because it has taken me some time to figure all this out! I suppose it's just taken me a little longer to strengthen my faith.
In a nutshell, I used to think that if I lost control it was a bad thing, and that I couldn't feel safe, secure, and sane if things got out of control. I stand corrected!
