In my last post I wrote about my dad, whom I love, cherish, and worry about. This post is dedicated to my mom. My mom and I have not had a blissful mother-daughter relationship, and it's been a rocky road for as long as I can remember. She's still my mom, and I love, cherish, and worry about her too. One of the greatest gifts I could give her this Christmas was the opportunity to come visit me in South Carolina for the holiday(s). I will not deny that I didn't have many, many reservations about this. Afterall, we do not see eye-to-eye on life, and I don't understand any of the choices she has made in the last 20 years. However, I knew that if she could get a glimpse of my life, she would rest easy, and know that she did raise me with the confidence to be who I am today. That I'm healthy and happy and for the most part, well adjusted. Which unfortunately is a luxury, I know this. I'm incredibly grateful for the upbringing I had, and I often think about the children who aren't as fortunate. I also think about the people who haven't gotten through their growing pains, and can't seem to get past pain in their life. I'm not religious, but I'm faithful, and I know that things happen for a reason, but sometimes reasons are unknown, and that's when you have to "pick yourself up by your boot straps" and forge ahead. Maybe it's easier to do when you are so far removed from the places in life that caused you pain. I don't know. When I look at my mom I see a very attractive, mature lady who has class and style. She keeps a positive attitude, but there's always a sadness in her voice that I can sense. I believe that everyone deserves happiness. I also believe that everyone has to create their
own happiness. This is the one thing I wish for my family... create your own happiness in 2012. Take the good, leave the bad. Break the chain and make your own life for you, not everyone else. Celebrate little things. Look ahead, don't look back, but learn from the past.
I used to always fear becoming so much of a perfectionist like my mom. As I've grown up, and really grown into my own person, I no longer fear this. I have all of the good traits from both my parents, and I try to be conscious of the traits I don't want to have, and I work to overcome the weaknesses that I see. No one is perfect, I'm certainly no exception. My mom isn't perfect either, but she was a good mom during the most formative years of my life. She and my dad both gave my sister and I a lot of unconditional love that many children today don't experience. This past week, she continued to give me that unconditional love, even in my own house, where I'm sure I don't do things the way she did/ would. All in all, it was a long week, for me... but I know that it was one of the most joyful weeks in my mom's life. Knowing this, knowing that I could give her a brief week of happiness was worth the little bit of discomfort for me.
