Writer's Block

School let out not even a week ago and I'm already restless being off from work for the summer.  This is probably why I have always worked during summers, and of course last summer I traveled with Bop, so I was hardly idle.  I fear that if I allow myself to just relax and hang out, read books, sit by the pool and be "lazy" I will become a lazy person.  And lazy I am not, yet for some reason I can't seem to get this fear out of my head.  Sometimes I think maybe the reason I keep busy all the time is so that I don't have to think about my worries, my dysfunctional relatives, my problems (yes, we all have them).  I have family and  friends that would love to have this kind of free time right now, all my friends that have small children, jobs, and traveling husbands, what they would give for just an hour of time to be by themself... and yet, I somehow can't get comfortable with this time I've been given.  For whatever reason, I have been given this time to enjoy life, be at peace, be independent, do basically whatever I want without anyone else to worry about during the day and it bothers me.  Do I feel guilty that my husband gets up every morning and works hard so we can have this wonderful life? Do I feel guilty that my sister travels like a maniac and is constantly stressed? Do I feel guilty that my father burns his wick every day and hasn't had a day off (atleast a real day off) in over 20 years?  I don't think it's guilt as much as I wish I could help the people I love in some way since I have been given all this free time.  I'm sure as you read this you're thinking, "What I could do if I only had the time."  I have those thoughts too, usually during the school year when I'm running around frantically and booking my evenings solid for weeks.  But now that I have all this time, I don't know quite what to do with it.  I've had lunch with a friend I haven't seen in a while.  I've done some professional training. I will clean my house, but other than that I feel like I've got to get a PROJECT to work on.  My projects usually consist of cooking up a fancy meal, but with temperatures in the 90's the thought of turning the oven on really isn't appealing.  One project I've always wanted to do, but "haven't had the time" is to write a book.  My problem now is what would I write about?  Hence the title of this entry.  Do I write a fictional piece? A children's story? A cooking piece? A memoir or some crazy story about my life?  The possibilities are endless, and yet I can't begin this project.